Christmas Journey

It has been sometime since I have driven through the night, well actually, not that long...I just completed this task a week ago when we left for Ohio to visit family.  What a trek it was, but I have rediscovered the beauty of traveling as a family, especially while all the kids are nestled in their car seats with visions of sugar products dancing through their heads.

Our trip started with sideways rain here in Maine and was followed by sideways snow in Pennsylvania.  We made it Ohio in a mere 17 hours and surprised the dickens out of grandma and grandpa (they did not know that we were coming!) We ate cookies, exchanged gifts, and relaxed.  We took off a couple of days later and landed in the land of Cleve's (that's Cleveland for the late person) and visited some of our favorite friends and family.  Again we ate cookies, exchanged gifts (one of which was a double date with my sister and her husband without children), and again relaxed.  Oh, we went thrift shopping as well.  You know you have entered the world of frugal (cheap to the late person) when $3.99 is too much for a pair of pants.  But, boy oh boy, did I find some bargains.  I now have a new wardrobe for around $40.00!

To top off our trip, my sister, my niece, and I ventured out one final time.  After about nine years of "every now and then asks" (that's where you gently chip away your spouses protective layer of common sense) I was granted a very special wish...I could get an orange kitten!  (because driving home through the night with three children is not challenging enough, I wanted something fluffy to meow at me).   Now our family has a little orange kitty named Journey.

After all the mini-adventures in Ohio, we started the through-the-night trek back to Maine.  We were greeted by a snowed in driveway that we could not make our way up (they plowed while we waited, thank goodness), a decomposing Christmas tree (I took it down before we even unpacked), and our home (I finally like coming home to it).

We are happy to be here and are tenderly dreaming about the New Year and the wonderful adventures that The Lord has in store for us.  May your resolutions come true!

Gotcha Day Celebration

Hello out there!  We celebrated gotcha day this past Saturday.  I think I am finally settling into my new england way of life because I made apple pie for Ezra.  I made little leaves and berries as decorations and then...we ate them.  Randy ate apple pie for two days straight and was asking for more.

Ezra loves apples, but loves to say the word apple even more.  I remember wondering what her little voice would sound like and here I am, listening to it each day.  Apple, apple, apple, apple....followed with the request for itsy-bitsy-spider, moving her hands in the spider motion.  I begin singing and then her two little bottom teeth jut out as she giggles with delight that her favorite song will go once again.

Since we have started Ezra on "real food" she has only refused those dirty little beets.  There are days when I wonder if she has the natural mechanism in her belly that says, "I'm full."  The girl loves to eat, all things.  Grass, pea shoots, paper hole punch-outs, pickles, etc.  She is also beginning to pass off her morning bottle for more important things, like standing on the couch to point to the "horsies." 

Language development is on the upswing with new words daily, but not always on cue, as I would like.  For example, I am desperately looking for the word "please" whenever she requests something.  She will cheerfully throw the word around at her convenience, but press her gently for it when a popcorn kernel is at stake and a much different picture unfolds.  "No, no, no!"  with a passionate back and forth shake of the head is included for all to witness. 

It's been so long since tantrums have been a part of our everyday life.  I welcome you with open arms and look forward to reliving this phase with Ruby just as Ezra moves onto potty training.  Always up to my elbows in something.

It's raining today, pouring in fact.  It rained nearly everyday that we were in Africa, a sweet refreshing shower, usually in the middle of the day and then the sun would shine again, warming the earth, while our kids warmed each of our hearts.  We spent so much time waiting, filling out paperwork, getting to know the other families within our group, forming the primitive lines of friendships that would be etched into the tapestry of a lifetime.  Nearly a year ago, I was beginning to pack my suitcase, Ezra's suitcase, Grayson's suitcase, the cat's suitcase...preparing for the journey ahead.  And now, here we are, all unpacked, our lives hung out to dry for others to see how we are doing.  Did we get everything sorted out, are colors matched with colors, whites with whites, wrinkled, ironed, spotted, crisp....nope.  But our basket is brimming with beauty, muddy pants from a rain dance in puddles, soaked socks from adventures with bubbles, stained shirts from first meals shared together, dress shirts worn for a job interview, bathing suits from ocean adventures, maternity shirts that fit to snuggly in the end, and many more articles that contain stories untold.  More stories to follow in the days to come.  I promise.

Introductions please

This is Ezra, our baby girl.  I apologize for not introducing her sooner, but the internet connection in Africa is less than stellar.  Our journey here has been going pretty smoothly.  We have been here for two weeks and will be heading to Kenya tomorrow for the final leg of the journey.  Ezra is a very sweet baby.  She smiles often, sleeps well, eats like a champ, and belches and coughs at the same time, making her sound like a high school football player.  We do have a prayer request for those who are following.  Our family is without the fingerprint receipt that is necessary for processing the visa once we are in Kenya.  I know that other families before us have had this same hiccup and you still made it home.  I just ask for peace between now and then as well as my trust in the Lord to be strengthened when we approach the visa window.  That's all for now.

bags not packed yet, but my heart is

Haven't posted in a while and yes it was intentional this time.  We do have an update to share and many more to follow as we will be heading to Africa in a few days to pick up our daughter.  I can't share many details just yet, but I can state that we are in love all over again and we can't wait to kiss those lips, count those toes, see if she has an inn-ie or an out-ie, smell her neck, zerbert those cheeks and so forth and so on. We will be heading to Ohio on Thursday and starting our journey from there.  I will be in touch.

missing tooth

Saturday morning Grayson had a run in with a metal pole while playing tag on the playground.  The good news is that he was smiling when he collided because his tooth didn't go through his lip.  The bad news was he shattered his front left tooth.  Why do these things always seem to happen on holiday weekends?

We were just getting prepared to send folks out to complete some relief work for victims of Hurricane Irene here in the Upper Valley when I hear crying behind me.  There is Grayson in my friends arms, crying and bloodied.  Now many of my friends and family can attest to a lack in my ability to keep it together in moments like this.  Usually I start by calling out to Jesus frantically and this often has the result of upsetting Gray more than helping the situation.  I don't know if it was all the people around or that I am getting better equipped the older he gets or "that the peace which transcends all understanding was guarding my heart", but for once, I was calm.

We opted to head to the emergency room after I left a message for our dentist.  Just as we were getting ready to head in, he called back and said that he could meet us in an hour to extract the tooth.  We walked and talked as Gray continued to spit blood and fragments of tooth.  We prayed and wondered what the Lord had in store for this day, why had we been pulled away from helping others?

We arrived at the dentist's office and were greeted by his wife, today's dental assistant, and then led back to the special chair.  Grayson was terrific!!  He listened, relaxed, and just trusted.  The tooth was easily extracted and the five pieces were placed in a keepsake box.  Lovely.  We had the opportunity to share with the dentist what our plans had been for the day before we were pulled away.  We had the chance to share about a fund that our church had recently set up to help folks that had lost everything.  We continued to share stories about those who had lost their entire heating supply (cord wood) for the winter as it had been swept down the river.  We shared how our goal was to raise $10,000 in wood the following week and this was where the dentist's face fell a bit and his brow was raised with a significant thought.  Randy asked, "Is everything ok?"  And here was his response:

"I had just said to my wife yesterday how we have to much wood and that we have got to find something to do with it.  We have pallets of extra wood."

So you see, my boy sacrificed his tooth for Jesus on Saturday.  We hadn't realized it at the the moment, but we can easily see that He had even this planned long ago so that families could be warm this winter.  Sometimes it takes more than just hands and feet to do His good work, teeth can be called upon as well.

Family Vacation Memories

 So, this past week we were in beautiful Nova Scotia experiencing the finer things that Canada's seacoast has to offer such as clam digging, some of the world's highest tides, and a muddy good time had by all.  Grayson was truly creating some of his happiest memories as he traipsed through the mud anytime one of us would agree to take him down.  (usually Randy, because frankly, I enjoy being clean, but I did squish mud between my toes at least once)

We started our journey at Amherst Shores Provincial State Park which is near the northwest corner of Nova Scotia.  It was a bit drab outside, but we were thankful that the air was cool and that it was not raining.  We had a trail that led out to the beach, but the first time that we made our way to the coast, it was only a tiny little rocky beach, with no sand to speak of.  Later that day we headed back and not only was the sun out, but the tide had gone out and left us with this.

We played all day and had some yummy camp food that evening, including S'more's of course.


The next day we packed up our site and headed onto Cape Breton National Park about 6.5 hours northeast.  I have to say that this park was one of the most beautiful places that I have ever been to.  Dramatic vistas, ocean scenery, and even a moose or two.

We camped at Jumping Mouse Eco-Camping.  This was a truly unique experience and probably one of our favorite campgrounds to ever stay at.  The folks that maintain this private oasis do so with love.  The pit toilets  were very clean, recycling was encouraged, Internet was available, and the attitude that surrounded this property was that of trust.  We signed in and paid after we camped for two days.  I would encourage anyone to camp here.

 This was our site and yes, that was our view.  the picture does not do it justice of course.  If you head over toward the edge, you would see a ladder and rope, that says: Danger, climb at your own risk.  Randy made an attempt at it to see if it would be a good fit for Gray, but quickly assessed that it was in fact as dangerous as I had previously determined and we found another beach the next day, which even though it was cloudy, we found it to be quite beautiful. 

We continued on the following day due west toward the Bay of Fundy where those really high tides take place.  We stayed at a camp ground called Five Islands Provincial Park.  This was much bigger than either of the first two.  It was very pretty, but because of the size of the campground, it wasn't nearly as hospitable as the first two.

Unfortunately, after the first night here, I woke up feeling pretty yucky in the belly.  I stayed at camp all day while the boys dug for clams and chased waves all day.  Around 6:30 that evening we decided to pack it up and head to a hotel for the evening....thank goodness, because the port-a-potties would not have been a good fit that evening if you can catch my drift.  We continued on toward Maine the next morning and made it home to New Hampshire a day ago.  It was quite an adventure for our family and we are just so thankful that we got to experience this together.  I still find it difficult to at times to make major plans while we are in the waiting phase of the adoption because we just don't know when things are going to take place.  But, each day throughout the process, we continue to "do" life because if we don't, our story won't be nearly as exciting to be a part of.  Thanks for reading.  Happy trails!!

Approved!!!

Do you know how long I have been waiting to post that word?  And it's not for a credit card either.  We have been approved by the ministry in Rwanda to adopt our little girl.  What's even more interesting is that we were approved way back in March, but the letter didn't make it through to us on the internet.  So, with that being said, we now sorta have a real time line.  By September 24th, we will have to be matched with our daughter or our case will be closed. (This is called the referral)  So please, please, please, our family begs you to share this information within your prayer circles and lift up our paperwork in prayer.  I can imagine that it may be at the orphanage now, being reviewed and prayed over by the sisters that comfort her each day.  Please pray for God's perfect timing, for order to be followed because of the six month timeline that is now in effect for each family that has been approved.  Please continue to pray for the health of the children that are waiting to be taken home as well as the workers within the ministry that they would not become weary of the tasks that they have ahead of themselves.  I will post more when I hear as well as share some photos from our vacation to Canada very soon.

Real quick....

Haven't updated in a while and I have 16 minutes before we bike/run to meet Randy after school so I thought, why not now...Proverbs 31 woman, hear me roar!!!  Anyhow, spring is upon us.  The emerald green is draping the upper valley as it clings to the deciduous trees and the evergreens are creating a lovely dark green backdrop for the colors of spring to come forth.

Gray and I hiked on the Appalachian Trail today.  I had the privilege of plucking a deer tick off of his sock...but the view was worth it.  We hiked on some gentle terrain that eventually rolled us into a pine forest.  We climbed up a hill and there the trees parted and we were faced with a green rolling pasture to the left with darker mountains looming further in the distance.  That's when I discovered the pesky varmint climbing up Gray's sock.  Gross.  He was brave and was rewarded with a fruit bar immediately upon completing the tick check.

Enough on that, let me fill you in on what else is going on.  Randy will be completing his first year of teaching in about 8 weeks....YEAH.   He has signed his contract to continue in his position for another year.  This was a huge decision, but I will spare you the details as I only have six minutes left. 

Some of you may remember a blurb about our Lifesong for Orphans grant...well I have wonderful news.  It was fully funded and beyond.  Thank you to everyone who partnered with Riverbank Church and Lifesong for Orphans to make it possible.  This was such a blessing to our family. 

As for the adoption process, I wish I could state that we have heard something, but at this time we just joyfully celebrate with all of the families that have been or are currently in Rwanda uniting with their families.  We are not sure of our time line and are still hopeful that we will hear something in the up and coming months.  What we are attempting to master during the time of waiting is being thankful for each moment that we get to spend with each other in conversation, prayer, creating memories, and defining who we are within God's world.  We continue to hold tightly to His plan and His timing and believe that they are so much more practical than ours.  We rest in Him when we become fidgety with how we believe things should be panning out...and believe me, I fidget daily.

Well, time is up.  I will post more in the near future.

Spring, with a side of snow

Just wanted to get a quick post up to let you all know that we are still here.  I am so encouraged, we saw brown grass just a few days ago.  The snow had melted after such a long winter and I could hardly believe it, but there really is earth beneath it.  We then received about six new inches on Monday and a few more are expected later today, but I tell you what, just seeing the grass lets me know that the seasons will continue to move forward just as they have for all the years before.

Not much to report since our last post.  Winter does that....we have spent many days in doors.  I have really begun to embrace this special time that I have with Gray this year.  He is just such a cool kid and never ceases to amaze me with the questions that he has and the depth of his love for those around and beyond him.  Those character traits are already at work on his heart.

We are quickly approaching spring break.  We were going to head south to Ohio, (it's north of Disney for those of you that are trying to locate it on a map)  but have changed plans because of the lack of time.  We may head North to Maine for a day or two, but the majority of the break will be spent here relaxing, preparing, and waiting. 

We are praying for the families that will be heading to Rwanda to meet their new additions later this week.  It has been so encouraging to be a part of each of their adoption journeys and I can only imagine the anticipation that is filling their hearts as they are so close to holding their children. 

Pray you are all well!

10 months, 18 years, before time began

Tomorrow marks 10 months since our dossier arrived in Rwanda and boy what active months we have had, here in the states as well as in Rwanda.  Many families have received their non-objective letters and several have received referrals (these are actually the photos and medical history of their children that they will soon be bringing home)  We have been very encouraged as other families prepare their hearts and homes for these little ones and share their journey with us.  There is something about sharing an adventure with others when the end goal is the same.

Tomorrow also marks the birthday of my oldest niece.  She is turning 18.  Now, when she was born, I was still in high school.  I was in choir and a message was delivered to me from the office stating that my sister, Kelly, had given birth to a baby girl, Kataeri.  She goes by Katae now and has always been a bright spot in my life as well as the others that she comes in contact with.  Happy Birthday!   You continue to blossom into a beautiful, compassionate young lady.

Some other happenings for the month of February include, but aren't limited to, a family trip to New Jersey, another snow day, and a matching grant of $1000 from Lifesong for Orphans.

Our trip to New Jersey was relaxing. I know this might be difficult to believe, because if any of you have ever driven in New Jersey for any length of time or been passed by a car exceeding the speed limit by at least twenty miles per hour on your own state highways, then your assessment of Jersey is only partially accurate. As long as your not driving, NJ can be a low key and slow moving experience. We took a trip to the city (by subway) and shared a part of NY with Grayson.



The church that survived 9/11 (literally next door to the spot where the twin towers once stood) It now serves as a memorial site for all to visit.



Construction site for the New World Trade Center as viewed from the cemetery of the little church that survived 9/11



Lunch at Peking Duck in Chinatown.  We took in some culture as several roasted ducks were carved for other lunch eaters within our vicinity.  And yes, they still had their necks and duck bills attached.



Rice Pudding shared at Rice to Riches in SoHo, a favorite treat.



As for our snow day, I am in the midst of it right now.  I am hopeful that this might be the final snow fall of the season, but only time will tell.  It is wonderful having Randy home for the day.  Grayson and he went on a snowy walk and now hot cocoa is being prepared on the stove top, so I only have a few more moments of sharing left.

Our final piece of February is the $1000 matching grant that we have received from Lifesong for Orphans.  Our church, Riverbank Church, has created an adoption fund and partnered with Lifesong for Orphans in order to disburse these funds.  Lifesong for Orphans is a non-profit Christian ministry dedicated to helping meet the needs of orphan children around the world. Now, what matching grant means, is that this is the amount that is available to our family.  Every dollar that is donated toward our adoption is literally matched.  If $20.00 is donated, it turns into $40.00 all the way up to $1000.  It means that as you, our family and friends, prayerfully consider our adoption, you will now have a tax-deductible way to donate money if God is calling you to do so! Between now and April 20th, Lifesong will accept donations for our family and then give them to us as an adoption grant to cover adoption expenses. All donations given through Lifesong are tax-deductible and you will receive a tax-deductible receipt.

100% of the all funds raised will go directly to cover adoption costs and Lifesong takes nothing out for administrative costs. This is an amazing opportunity!

To make a Tax-Deductible donation you have two choices! You can write a check to Lifesong for Orphans with preference Stahley #1859 adoption in the memo and mail it to:

Lifesong for Orphans
PO Box 40/ 202 N. Ford St.
Gridley, IL 61744

Or, you can click this link to Lifesong's donation page and donate through Paypal with preference Stahley #1859 adoption in the memo! 

 

Please know that while Lifesong does not withhold administrative fees from your donation, Paypal will.

 

Finally, we are reminded day in and day out, that before time began the Lord knew of this moment before it was even conceived. "I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11   We just find such comfort in His words each time our heart wraps around them. 

Snowshoes, Fasting, and other great things

OK, remember that last post where I was talking about winter weather, well let me share with you my special journey home on Saturday evening after work.  Our region was expected to receive 4-10 fresh inches of the white stuff.  It was expected to begin at 7 and run its course until the following morning.  This storm was to bring snow and freezing rain.  It was so anticipated that church was called off the night before.  So, now that you can appreciate the grandness of this winter moment, I will share that when I left for work at 2:30, I discovered quickly that the little winter wonderland creator had its own plans and had already begun to gently coat all roadways with slippery bits of love.  Now, cut to the shot where I am leaving work, about 7.5 hours later.  I kid you not, as I am walking out the door, it is thundering and lightening while simultaneously snowing.  My car was coated in the four inches of new precipitation and topped with a lovely layer of ice-ing.  I began my journey home and the snow metamorphosed into freezing rain.  Within a minute this changed to hail which as I drove made me feel like I was catapulting through outer space at warp speed.  The sound within in my car was deafening as each ball bombarded the outside with thudding force.  I admit it, I did 30 mph or less all the way home, hands gripping the steering wheel with white knuckles ablaze, heart pounding, and lips parting to release a thick prayer of, "Oh please God, get me home safely!"  I made it, not in record time, but alive. 

On Sunday we took a snowshoeing trip on the Appalachian Trail.  Grayson was gung-ho until we were about 500 ft into the hike.  His legs hurt.  He wanted to hold hands on the single track path.  He wanted a snack.  He was thirsty.  We managed to hike for nearly an hour and a half.  His complaining waxed and waned, but overall, I would say he kept it up for a quarter of the trip.  The freshly fallen snow was beautiful, the pines were blazing green against it, and we nearly made it above treeline, so there was even a mountain view.  This is me trying to embrace the season at hand and remain content within the moment. 

Today begins the first day of a three day fast that is being held church wide.  I am enjoying several cups of tea, vitamin enhanced water, and water.  So far so good.  It is only hard when I am preparing food for Gray.  Today was mac and cheese for lunch and I could smell the sweet saltiness as I stirred in that cheesy goodness.  On Wednesday, we will break the fast at the church and celebrate with everyone through worship, communion, and finally a shared meal.  It is such a powerful thing and I feel so blessed to share this experience with the Lord and His people.

Will keep you posted on the progress.

Signing off for practice

Oh, how I love the snow...

Because it gives us a reason to slow down and snuggle and contemplate why hair gel even needed to be invented.  Just go to sleep with wet hair and this hairdo can be yours as well.  We had about one foot of fresh snow fall yesterday which means that is one more foot that the sun must melt before there is even a chance of seeing some tulips and daffodils.  I wanted to share something with you all.  Ever have those days or weeks or even entire seasons where you are struggling to find contentment within the moment.  This may be one of those posts where it is just me, but I have to admit that January and February often bring with them at least a few weeks of these blahs.  Many people I have shared this with have agreed, maybe not linking themselves directly to the blahs, but they all know someone who experiences these blahs.  Well, this year, like others, I have been trying to gain triumph over the blahs through conversation, worship, playing tag in our house, anything I can, to set myself apart from them.
 
This past Friday while driving to work, I found that I was particularly gloomy.  I had shared with Randy before heading to work, that I wasn't quite jiving with this winter weather anymore and that we need to find a warmer climate, immediately.  (Yes, this was a moment where my words were flying before I even half-way examined my heart...)  I was quite thankful that I was on the work timeline so there weren't to many minutes available for any additional regrettables to part from my lips.  Well, low and behold, while driving, I found myself preparing for our Sunday experience at church and I came across these words of Desert Song, by Hillsong. 

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

Now, mind you, I had sang these words about 100 times throughout the week already, but I honestly forgot to reflect on the the words that were coming out of my mouth and was just going through the breathy motions of singing the words (kinda like the conversation between Randy and I that had taken place just minutes before)  I literally tried to push through the entire bridge of the song, but found myself becoming more and more choked up.  I was instantly reminded through a spirit stirred moment that no matter what my day holds for me, that God is still God.  No matter what my experience, God is still God.  There is something that I can be whispering or shouting praises to the Lord for...no matter how small or how large, God is still God.  I am so thankful to rest on such a firm foundation that cannot be melted away by summer sun or frozen by winter winds.  No matter what season I am in within my life, He is still God and I have a reason to sing and worship.

All else is well in the land of snow.  Randy has finally finished his final draft of his thesis and has officially graduated with his masters in the Science of Teaching.  Gray and I have immersed ourselves in the Magic Treehouse series (If I start a book, we usually have to finish it within that sitting)  We will also be starting a theater program through Revels North which will be exploring African Traditions, through song and dance.  Very exciting things going on as we make our way through our ninth month of waiting since our paperwork has arrived in Rwanda.  I have a reason to worship.

A bit about the adoption

I haven't actually updated about the adoption in some time because I was assuming that the folks reading this here blog were either in the midst of their own adoption journey and plugged into our yahoo group or I have had long winded discussions about what is happening.  Then it hit me, there are probably others that don't know and are eager to hear.  There has been much movement in Rwanda in regard to the adoption portion of the ministries work.  I will not get specific with numbers because that is not for me to share unless they are our numbers, but what I can say is that several families that had their dossiers in Rwanda before ours have received their non-objection letters and are waiting to receive their referrals (in the past this has been about a two month wait between the two)  Each time I open my email inbox, I can feel my heart and mind praising the Lord for these families and their children.  I feel like with each email, each letter that is received by them only brings us one moment closer to hearing about our little one. 

We are finishing up our second round of our homestudy and should have a completed report to send within the next few weeks.  This document is needed in order to update everything, in our country as well as sending the updated information to Rwanda.  Keep prayers lifted that our homestudy coordinator will continue making progress and this will be completed in a timely manner.

As for funding goes...I say this nearly in tears, God has been so gracious and blessed our family so much.  We have been diligently budgeting each month, but I never cease to be amazed at the outside resources that continue to turn up nearly every month.  We still have about $6000.00 to raise for the final costs as well as travel.  Every penny has literally added up as my son continues to put random change into our in-home Rwanda Fund, a big old plastic water jug behind our coach.  I had a gentleman I had never met come up to me after church a few weeks ago and slip a bill into my hand stating, "It's not much, but it is for your adoption."  How blessed I felt to be on the receiving end of his generosity and humbled again that God had placed our family on someones heart, and without my knowing it.  He can be so sneaky sometimes.  I lay these final funds down at the cross in prayer that they will continue to build in our Rwanda Fund.

As far as a time line, we are so hopeful, like many other families that we will bring our daughter home by the end of the year at the latest.  Honestly, I and many others are praying for the end of the summer, but His timing will be perfect and I can rest in that.  I hope you are all well.  Gray is counting in Spanish in between singing songs to Jesus and blowing out some harsh notes on his harmonica.  Gotta go in order to save the neighbors ears.

How will I spend this day?

Well, honestly it is over half way over, but the thoughts that I have had leading up to this day have been, if nothing else, thorough.  It is after all a new year and I would be dishonest if I told you that I haven't made resolutions.  This is the first year in many that I have prayerfully been contemplating exactly what it is that "I was going to change about me that would make me a better me so that more people would enjoy me and my company."  That is a whole lot of me, huh?  Well, get on with it is what I am sure you are probably thinking and I will try to leave a bit of me out of it.  Here is my resolution brought to you coated in a thick layer of firm determination.

1.  To be intentional. 

In all things mind you so you can imagine the layers of thought that have erupted with this simple statement.  First is time...and not wasting it, which by the way, like any of you, I would have to say that I am very gifted in the art of time wasting.  I can browse the Internet for hours for land that I don't intend to purchase, items I don't intend to use, and famous people I don't intend to mimic.  I plan to use time to develop my character(studying God's Word), my home (this includes homeschooling, house-wiving, budgeting), my talents (writing is on the top of this list as well as learning a second language as a family, oh and playing the spoons) and whatever else comes up between now and then.

So, again I ask, how will I spend this day?  So far I have guided Grayson in writing W's, sounding out words, and adding domino spots together, researched NH state standards for kindergartners and found some wonderful websites that will aid in breathing new life into our day to day curriculum, exercised, shopped for towels that were unfortunately not on clearance, (but eventually they will be, and I will be there to make the purchase), grocery shopped on a shoestring budget with my five year old that thought it would be a good idea to run, leap, and belly slide down the aisle not once, but twice, whipped a chocolate cream pie into submission, watched Grayson create an apron out of paper so that he can match mama, read the Word and was yet again struck in awe of who God was and is and is yet to be all at the same time, and now, at this moment, I am writing to share with you my attempt today at being intentional.

Tis the season to be....

As always, way to much time in between posts.  I keep making new promises to myself, kinda like the New Years ones, but I actually have the intention of keeping these...kinda like the New Years ones....hmmmm, kinda cliche.  Anyhow, I am attempting to school Grayson and we have made it through two weeks with some regularity and I have to say that he has climbed on board. (This is not to say that we haven't been learning each day throughout the school year)  Its not that he wasn't on board before, but it wasn't happening how I had imagined.  I have discovered something wonderful...consistency, that's not to say that we won't fall off the boat, but I am hopeful and prayerful that we will continue on this trend.  We are getting into some sort of school routine.  For the most part, it takes place in the morning for about an hour to an hour and a half.  We have a time of morning devotional (he has recently started to look up the verses with some help which is so cool...he is navigating through the Word)  We do some reading, he reads to me, I read to him, we have a grand old time with it.  We hang out and attempt some mathematics, which I am quickly discovering is his strong suite.  I truly believe that he is thinking in numbers...kinda like Keanu Reeves in the Matrix...what other child is so interested in mile markers and exit signs along the freeway.   Please let me know if yours is, I would be thrilled to have coffee with you.  We then spend some time crafting the art of writing.  At this time he is making letters and really having a wonderful time discovering just how many ways he can make the letter "m"  I am finding that it really does take some practice, but I am also figuring out that the practice can take place over a long period of time.  Like number writing for example...He loves math, as I have said, but crafting the numbers with a pencil takes practice and I could sense the frustration mounting daily as he would begin to practice a row of threes.  By the time the row was complete, he had no interest in completing the addition problems (which he knew the answers to) because his hand had had it.  His mind was able, but his hand was weak.  So we only write a couple of threes now and move onto the addition problems with excitement.  The reality is, he is going to write threes for the rest of his life...with practice over a longer period of time, he will get good at it. 

We also go on adventures throughout the week,  He has just completed his first set of swimming lessons.  It is nice to see his legs straight in the water instead of bicycling for dear life.  His teacher was incredible and I believe that he is looking forward to the next batch of lessons to begin in January.  He has also started ice skating with a home school group.  The first week led to many falls, but by week two, I am happy to report that his bottom met the ice half as many times.  We are also going to begin a theater type group in January.  They will be exploring African traditions, stories, and a few other things. 

So, for the time being, homeschooling is going well.  I never know what each day holds for us, but I have to say it has been an incredible gift to be able to spend this quality time with my son.  He is so animated, gifted, energetic, and hungry (for food and knowledge)  He is learning even when I am not teaching and continuously asking questions.  He retells stories that we have read in his own words, he has his own ideas about what would be good in ice cream, and he wonders how things work...all things.  He is joy to be with.

As for other things, we are gearing up to travel to Ohio for the holidays.  It is a much anticipated trip as Randy is really excited to have some time off to wind down and just relax from the rigors of the school year.  He is still chugging away at his thesis (draft number 11 is in the works)  I am planning to bake several batches of cookies tomorrow for the neighbors and all of those folks that help us from day to day.  I think I am attempting to live the Little House on the Prairie life style in a busy world, but I am OK with that. 

Take care friends.

6 months and a lifetime in the making

I have "How He Loves Us" turned up in the head phones as I write this.  There are days when a simple worship song can turn the entire day around.  Today is such a day as this.  Today marks six months since our Dossier touched ground in Rwanda.  Holy smokes...I wish I could say that it seems like just yesterday that this celebrated occasion took place, but to be honest, it feels like six months.  There are days when I don't notice, but then there are moments when I nearly feel like I am suffocating in this wait...dragging, discouraged, tearful, lonely.

It is in those moments that my heart calls out to worship our Maker and I begin to think about the way He loves us.  If I don't turn to Him but rather, I turn to myself instead, it is then that I know I am trouble.  Remember Peter, the one disciple that chose to get out of the boat (Matthew 14:28-33)  He had such great faith that he jumped on the opportunity to experience the impossible.  It wasn't a toe dipping, deep reflection, moment.  Peter asks, "Lord, if it is You, ask me to come." 

Come. 

I see Peter full of focused ambition as he stands up and steps forward boldly onto the water.  Waves tickled his ankles, sea mist coaxed him to take the next step, and there he was, walking towards Christ, on water.  All was going great, until he began to doubt, he took his eyes off Christ and focused on himself, the task that was at hand and the world he was within. "It was then that he began to sink and he cried out, Lord save me."

I am sure that you have all felt that you were sinking at one time or another.  You may be sailing down the drain at this very moment.  Take heart and know that Christ loves you so much.  It's not that He loved you and then left you to fend for yourself.  It's not that He loved you so much that He created you and then turned from you and ran.  No He loves you, yesterday, today, always, and forever the same...no matter who you are, what you have done, how your hair looks, what you wear, what you think, how much money you make, what brand of cheese you purchase, whether you bite your nails, what you have accomplished, whether or not you choose to love Him...HE LOVES YOU. (I will not leave you or forsake you) YOU ARE HIS BELOVED.  How awesome is that!  The creator of all things LOVES you.  

So whether you are on a boat, on land, in a tree, at a desk, where ever you are, turn from yourself to Him.  He will wait...He stands at the door and knocks.  If anyone hears His voice and opens the door, He will come in. (Rev 3:20)  He will not beat down the door and take you by the collar and force His ways into your life, but He will wait at the door of your heart, gently knocking...it could be a song that taps, it could be a mountain view that opens your eyes to the truth, it could be a tear-filled, message soaked moment, but He is there waiting for your answer. 

Will you let Me into your life so that we can do this thing together, or would you rather go at it alone?  Grace awaits you on the other side. 

"It was then that he began to sink and he cried out, Lord save me."  Immediately Jesus stretched out his hand and caught him."

Number 62

Grayson Highlands Park, VA

We are a bit more settled now.  Gray and I took a spontaneous trip to Ohio about two weeks after moving to New Hampshire to visit a few family members that we don't get to see very often, his cousin Ava and Randy's sister and her husband were in from South Dakota.  So we made the trek south west, but this time it only took 13 hours instead of 19 because we are so much closer in New Hampshire.  We swung through PA to visit my brother and his family, continued through Cleveland to see my sister and her family, and then down to Dayton, Ohio to stay with Randy's parents.  It was actually one of my favorite trips so far and I am still trying to place my finger on why.  It was so filled with family, friends, hugs, and warmth...maybe that's it.  It is tough sometimes living away from everything that you are familiar with, even after four years of being "away" I still am filled with sense of being home every time I return to Ohio.  Sweet kinship I guess. 

Randy's folks then joined us for the ride back to New Hampshire so that they could visit our new home and hang out for a few days with the foliage.  It was a great visit.  We had some time at the farmer's market, a few dining establishments, and Randy and I even went out on a date, which was very nice.  We even held hands for a bit. 

So here we are on Monday...back to the riggers of real life.  Grayson is officially five today.  We did our time at Panera (schooling did take place), completed the grocery shopping, and finished up with the story hour at the local library.  He is now taking what I like to call the "no-nap" where he has some downtime on his own and I usually run around frantically trying to clean up.  But today is different, because we are getting some new kitchen cabinets, so here I am at the computer updating all of you on the happenings of our life while we wait to meet our little girl. 

You see, it is pretty much like all of your lives, routine moments making up entire days.  But, for me, while we wait, there is a longing.  It is similar in some ways to how I felt while I was pregnant with Grayson.  We were waiting for nine months, reading through books, studying how he was growing, what he was doing in there where I couldn't see him.  I would eat right, hike miles daily, and attempt to sleep comfortably.  I knew he was as safe as I could make him.  I prayed for him, for his health, for his future, for each moment as it presented itself. 

For our little one in Rwanda, there is this same longing to meet her, to know her, to hold her...but I can only eat right for me, I hike with Grayson daily, I sleep each night.  I have no idea what she is doing each day, who holds her, who feeds her.  I wonder if she is sleeping comfortably among the other children who are being waited for.  I read through books that talk about how our family will be, once she is with us.  I pray for her often, for her health, her future, and for each moment as it presents itself. 

We are on the cusp of month five of our wait and we were just notified that we're number 62.  I never thought that number would hold any meaning for us, just a six and a two hanging out numerically.  But what this means is that God is moving, that the ministry in Rwanda is moving, that they have thumbed through our dossier, (our papers that say who we are and how our family is waiting to meet our baby girl) and they have assigned us with number 62.  We continue to wait, with our hands raised with praise, knowing that even though I can't feel her growing within or read about where she is at this exact moment, I can be refreshed by turning to Him, who knows her already better than I ever will. 

In New Hampshire

So as many of you know, we had a big move coming up and I wanted to inform you that we have arrived safely.  Some of you may remember our move four years ago today, to Maine.  What a transition that was.  I found myself on my knees sobbing or hiding on the basement stairs asking God over and over again, "What am I doing here?"  The first few months were such a time of growth, spiritually, as a mom, as a wife, as a Maine-er.  I have never begged God or my husband so much to take me back to where I had been than I did in those first three months.  Call me an Israelite if you must, it was within those months that I found myself doing a lot of wandering.

I felt like I had my roots ripped out from underneath me even though I had voluntarily rode the twenty some hours north to our new home.  I remember arriving and meeting the landlord for the first time and stepping foot into an apartment that I had ordered on the Internet.  I can recall thinking, "It's not quite what it looked like online."  The tile was still being laid and the kitchen was shrouded in the original 1960's decor, including, but not limited to my very own in-wall oven, complete with dead bird carcass in the one and only cabinet drawer.  Those first few months were rough, probably some of the toughest I have ever experienced.  But you know what, God was there, seated beside me, stroking my hair and calling me His beloved.  I love when He calls me that.  In fact, I thirst for those moments because I am usually in one of those random valleys, lonely and reaching for Him.  He always meets me there and holds me as I weep.

New Hampshire has not been the same experience.  We arrived to an apartment that I did not have to paint on my own, (yes, that was just another one of the awesome surprises that awaited us in Maine) Randy has a job as a high school math teacher, (some of you may recall that he washed dishes for the first year in Maine while he was waiting to qualify for his graduate program), and Grayson talks now...a lot. (I no longer get the pleasure of making up and saying what I think he might be thinking, but rather he tells me, over and over again until I respond)

We have been here for nearly two weeks.  I get to stay at home with Gray and discover what New Hampshire has in store for us.  We have been busy reading, writing, hiking, playing, and wandering.  Just today we hiked on the Appalachian Trail and took homemade chocolate chip cookies to one of the shelters for the thru-hikers, hoping to touch the lives and fill the bellies of the folks that are heading North to Maine to complete their hike. 

It is a different feeling here than it was in Maine.  I don't know if it is age, or that we have already been through this type of thing, or if we have just finally come home.  We will keep you posted on any new developments in NH as well as within our adoption.  It has been four months since our wait began and many more are projected to follow.  What we do know is that God is at work and we can cling to the knowledge that He knows the plans that He has for us.